


sharon did i fucking stutter

by rynliadon



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Based on a Tumblr Post, Drabble, Draco Malfoy Being an Asshole, Gay Draco Malfoy, Gen, POV Draco Malfoy, Sassy Draco Malfoy, i can't tell whether or not i should tag this as drarry? since nothing actually happens?, there is no romance to be had here only draco being draco, yeah he's a chaos monster but he's hilarious so
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-28
Updated: 2020-08-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:09:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26153974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rynliadon/pseuds/rynliadon
Summary: Draco comes back after the war with the left side of his head shaved, hair dyed blue, and narcissus flowers tattooed around his Dark Mark. His parents are dead; everything he thought he knew was wrong. One thing is still the same though: he's absolutely in love with the Chosen One. However, this year, he has a plan.in which draco gets a haircut, the hairdresser is confused (and innocent in retrospect), draco is his usual scheming self but gayer. rated teen because swearing
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter
Comments: 4
Kudos: 29





	sharon did i fucking stutter

**Author's Note:**

> this was inspired by a tumblr post by @s0n-0f-a-snitch (who i think is now deactivated?) and betaed by my friend @trashyy-drarry. summary of the original post: draco went through some shit summer before 8th year, came back completely different yet also exactly the same, and hatched a scheme regarding his massive crush on harry. 
> 
> this drabble inspired by that post has been on my tumblr for almost 2 years and I just remembered it existed lol. I still think it's funny and, while this is incomplete, it probably won't get updated for a loooong time, if at all. that said, I had a lot of fun revisiting this!

The hairdresser’s hands worked quickly on Draco’s long blonde hair, combing and misting and buzzing.

Yes, buzzing.

Draco Malfoy was now officially letting go of his Malfoy identity, and that started with the shearing of the trademark Malfoy locks.

“Are you sure about this style? It’s a big change, hon…” Sharon, his middle-aged hairdresser, said.

Draco looked at her blankly. “If I wasn’t sure, then I wouldn’t be here, would I?’ he drawled.

“I guess not,” she replied. However, she paused again. “I don’t think your parents would approve of such a modern look, though. Can you get your parents to sign off on the blue, at the very least?”

Draco glowered at her. “They’re dead, you daft cow. Besides, I’m eighteen, which means I have the authority to do things without my parent's permission, you see?” Idiot hairdresser, he thought. He had no patience for almost anyone these days.

Sharon was utterly taken aback by both the insult and his statement, and turned about six shades of purple before finally saying, “I’m sorry for your loss.”

“Don’t be sorry,” Draco sneered, “be the person providing my coping mechanism. Make it good enough that the hottest guy in school notices and instantly gets hard.”

Sharon froze for a moment, then laughed awkwardly. “Did you mean the hottest gir-”

“Sharon, did I fucking stutter?”

She started stuttering herself, sputtering and carrying on like an moron. Draco sighed. “Don’t make this harder than getting literal fucking needles to inject ink under my skin.” He glanced at the tattooed flowers adorning his Dark Mark. Beautiful depictions of narcissus flowers curled around it, making the snake and skull nearly unrecognizable. Draco had the tattoo artist charm them so they could cover the black ink of the Mark and even grow or shrink when he wanted. All he had to do was imagine the flowers moving, and they appeared to shift and bloom right on his arm.

She shook her head, seemingly bewildered at the audacity of teenage boys these days. Draco, however, had a plan to bag the Chosen One, and she was able to put it in motion.

**Author's Note:**

> a little backstory on this! (skip if you're not interested in reading my 11 pm thoughts about my freshman year of high school)
> 
> so when I wrote it (around 18 January 2019), I was convinced that I was going to write the whole fic and it was going to be amazing. however, I had just turned 15 and I was stupid (I'm just as stupid now almost 2 years later except now I'm cynical but that's beside the point). my point is, I overestimated my ability to stay motivated and stick to a project. I wrote one other chapter that I struggled with just a tinyyyy bit and immediately quit writing it altogether. it gained some traction on drarry tumblr! which only meant the pressure was up (it really wasn't but to my brand new freshman brain that's how it felt). then I fell out of the harry potter fandom completely (ty jkr for being a shithead). this little thing is just a happy memory, a moment from a fandom and a ship that kind of changed my life.
> 
> now I've gotten back into reading fic (bc quarantine lol), and maybe I'll try my hand at writing some in the not-too-distant future! if/when I do though, it most likely won't be drarry, or hp at all. it almost certainly will be avatar the last airbender though! if you are also obsessed with atla check out my tumblr (@rynliadon). more teen angst to be found there


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